Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
