: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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