I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
