By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
