Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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