I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
