honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
