Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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