I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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