I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
