Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
