He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
