I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
as a side note pls kill me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.