he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
