This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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