I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
