I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
