So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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