i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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