he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
