just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
