u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
