shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
