Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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