I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
