Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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