Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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