love makes seman taste better
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
