Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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