How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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