your parents love me but you hate me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You pole danced in your parka.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
