I need help removing her.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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