He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
