I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
