I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
