I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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