Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
