she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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