He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's blow job season.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
