My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize