Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize