Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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