Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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