I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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