she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
