so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
