I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
