return my video game
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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