Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
