she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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