you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bring me that man meat
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
