You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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