Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize