I CAN MOONWALK!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
