some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
