Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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