OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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