they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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