I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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