i can't believe i had my finger in that
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
