Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
