The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
