Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize