found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
